Some of my horrible thoughts
Can things alert us before things happen worst? If can’t, why do we
regret? Things happen for a reason, maybe for god sake? I don’t know. That’s what
I always tell myself whenever I regret doing things. So, now I don’t want to
have any regrets. I did everything I want to do but people scold me or nag me,
saying why am I so stubborn, why am I so reckless like a kid… sometimes I do
want to live like a kid because whatever they do, they will be forgiven... The
older we get, people expect us to do well than the younger ones, do as how they
expect us... There comes the “stress” we always mention... We need to care
people’s feeling meanwhile do the right thing... Making decision like this,
people always regret of not choosing the right choice… but there is always a
reason u choose that… I always think what if I choose another choice than the
original one, maybe my life will be different. I might live happily ever after.
But there’s nothing we can foresee. Life is selfish. Every step we take now
will change our future. “Our faith is on our hand”, for those who don’t believe
in faith but for those who believe in faith, they will say faith is created by
god, we just have to follow it. Every person has a different story of their
life. What if I’m born in a rich family? How my life will it be? Will it be nicer
or tougher as rich families always strive of family property like how TV drama shown?
Sometimes I think too much until I get sick of it… Why life is so hard…
Why on this earth, there’s people do like favoritism? Why people are so fake… Why
love is so complicated? How can a person change so much in just 1 year? Friend
of mine told me once, “you change so much since the last time I met u” …
Yeah, I changed... Due to the circumstances I faced, the problem I faced, the hard
time I faced where you don’t even know… People change whenever they faced a
heartbreak… They become stronger so that they will not fall so easily just like
a wolf, so that they can live in this crucial world… Sometimes, I look at my
mum… her outer is so strong that everyone thought she is the iron lady but deep
down inside, maybe her heart had broke into pieces, maybe she has been through
something we couldn’t imagine how worst is it, or simply this world had made
her to do so.
Hospital is one of the place I will avoid to
go because at there, nothing good will happen… Humans born, patient die, people
suffer… A place where hell and heaven meet. A place where Dettol smell is so
strong that you want to leave. A place where the most blood you can see in life
whether is from a surgery room, a blood bank or an emergency room. A place
where death certificate and birth certificate are approved. Tube, mask, white
coat, syringe, shiny operating stuff, silver tray, people groan, people sorrow…
Hospital is a horrible place for me. It just like a haunted house for me…
[ Well, I just think too much LOL ]
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